Positive Assumptions

26 03 2010

Assume… it means to suppose, premise, take for granted, suspect, guess, think, fancy or to infer. Wow!  We assume all sorts of things!  So why don’t we use this assumption power in a positive way?  If you think about it, when you first meet someone for the first time, the slate is blank.  We have no point of reference for this person.  They have not hurt us, or offended us, they just are.  It’s a fight sometimes in our own minds to keep that slate clean.  Offenses pile up over time and then our assumption meter gets tilted a little off-center, off focus and off of what God really intended. Proverbs 23:7 says, “As he thinks within himself so he is.” If you allow negative into your mind, it’s easier to believe negative things when they come up.  Make a positive assumption rather than a negative one.

One of the most powerful things we can do for our marriage is manage our mind.  Make the assumption every day that your husband intends to do good for you and not harm. When you think about it, you got married for a reason— for love.  Do you remember?  The first time he made you laugh, brought you a gift or spent special time with you?  What was that really romantic thing he did, that when you left your date that night you just knew there was something special about him or the way he made you feel.   I don’t think that really changes, what gets us is the everyday grind of life. Make the assumption he still loves you.  Make the assumption he isn’t trying to make you crazy.  Make positive assumptions… he loves you, he cares for you.  He picked you out of all the other people he could have picked to share his life with YOU.   When things get crazy and he yells because of something tiny, make the assumption that you are special, you have the HONOR of knowing him that intimately that he knows he can yell at you when he can yell at no one else.  Be his safe place.  Don’t take that yelling into your spirit, look past it and ask the Lord what is the real issue?  Is he really that mad that dinner is 15 minutes late, or is it because he wanted a quiet dinner and someone showed up early for the board meeting and now he has to leave?  It’s your choice how you want to look at it. Go beyond yourself, depend on God for real discernment.  Make a positive assumption.

Make the assumption that when he tells you he forgot an event or meeting he scheduled on your anniversary night tha he is a very busy man.  His intention is not to hurt you, he just got busy.  Assume the best in him.  He and your congregation for that matter are not out to hurt you.   Make a positive assumption. Allow yourself the luxury of positive assumptions.  It will go a long way toward a more positive mental attitude and will lessen the hurt to your own soul.   Why give a bitter root an attachment in your heart?  Stop it before it starts by making positive assumptions. Ephesians 4:31 says, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.”  Putting away bitterness begins with positive assumptions!


So, what is with the Hatter?

28 01 2010

Well, I am starting this blog to help other people. One particular group of people in fact. I thinnk the thing that finally sent me over the edge to start writing this blog, was that most of the blogs I found for this unique people group seemed to be very negative, sad, heartbreaking and not really helpful.  Mind you, I only spent about an two hours total over the course of about a month looking at blogs and websites  and researching the topic.

So, who is this unique people group?  Its Pastor’s wives.  We are the group that can seem to win for losing.  I am a rookie at beng a pastor’s wife too.  Technically, I’ve only officially been at it for two years. But, I believe there is so much more too it than all the sad stories, complaining, illness and just general malaise assoicated with it. I am here to tell you about another side of it. The happieer, fulfilling, joyful, fun part of it.  And how a soveriegn God manages to help me every day with every challenge.  Perhaps by talking and sharing more of what I have learned the last two years it will help bring hope and healing to so many of us who are slowing expiring and loosing ourselves and our faith.  IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY!!

So, WHAT is with the hatter?  Really, when you think about it we women wear all sorts of hats all the time….. we begin life as someone’s daughter or sister.  As time goes on we become someoone’s girlfriend and most of us upgrade to wife and mother later on in life.  BUT, if you are a pastor’s wife you are given a lot of hats.  Some of them you don’t want… some of them are just ugly and a few of them don’t fit very well, but they become part of our wardrobe in order to help someone in a crisis, or accomplish a particular task.  Some of these hats need to be passed on to sisters who like them, others need to be put in a neat box and thrown out with the trash. The catch is identifying your desires for your hat collection and finding a good fit gracefully.